Tuesday, May 24, 2005


So this friend of mine, who shall be known as GoatBoy for reasons that will soon become obvious, was drinking tequila with a 70-year old woman once (as you do), it might have been at a wedding or something. Anyway, when he woke up in the morning, the first thing he noticed was that he was half lying in a hammock. The second thing he noticed was that he had the 70-year old's phone number on a scrap of paper. The third thing he noticed was that a goat was trying to climb into the hammock with him.


And because this is a goat-themed post, it needs more than one story about goats. So here's something another friend sent me recently. This is the kind of exciting social life my friends in New Zealand have.

Had conversation with a goat. Didn't go well.
Me: So, you're a goat?
Goat: Maaaa
Me: Good, is it?
Goat: Maaaa
Me: Like some fruit?
Goat: Maaaa
On the whole I think I could have been more persuasive, less angsty.

And then there's that joke, how does it go? I think it's a teacher in a class, and she says: has anyone here ever felt a ghost's presence? Little Johnny puts up his hand. So then she asks: has anyone actually seen a ghost? Again little Johnny's hand shoots up. The teacher then asks: Has anyone touched a ghost? Little Johnny's hand stays in the air. The teacher whispers: Has anyone had sex with a ghost? Little Johnny nods enthusiastically and the teacher faints. Oh, says Little Johnny. Ghost. I thought you said Goat.

Like you couldn't see that punchline coming.